Of Kings, Queens and Thrones
Is There a Common Sense Solution?
It's been said that modern problems demand modern solutions. I would tend to agree. Although many of a culture's mores are very hardy and seem to stand the test of time, others are much less static and evolve with the changing fashions and sensibilities. For example, I think back to my youth when the danger of exposure to pornography was mostly confined to the discovery of a dad's or brother's Playboy magazine secreted beneath their mattress. To say that things have changed in that regard would be to make an understatement of mythical proportions. Technology and the internet now make the dangers of porn a massively more egregious problem, not only in its ease of availability, but also in the degree of depravity that is now no more than a finger swipe away from access to our frontal lobes. One needn't be a Victorian era prude to realize that the sea change which has occurred with the development of the internet and the ubiquitous mobile devices at our ever-ready beck and call has magnified exponentially the danger of exposing our children to the most vile and pernicious sexual content--a content which is disastrous enough in the hands of grown men and women, but which causes unimaginable and sometimes irreversible damage to children whose moral and ethical standards are still in formation.
The proliferation of porn and its technological ease of access is just one example of a modern problem requiring a novel and practical solution. But if you had to guess about what other contemporary and prevailing problems were in need of address, would you ever have believed--even just thirty or forty years ago--that we would be embroiled in a heated and excruciatingly prolonged debate over whether men should be allowed to use women's public restrooms and vice versa? Would you ever have dreamt that such an issue would become a raging and contentious matter in the public discourse? Hard to believe...yet here we are.
The reasons for the current state of marginally muted hysteria over this issue can be mostly laid at the feet of the LBGT activist community, who (aided and abetted by a willing and complicit progressive media) have done their level best to turn what has historically been a minor and obscure issue, affecting roughly 0.6% of the population, into a legislative leviathan with the skyrocketing probability of impacting frequently, negatively and without due regard the other 99.4% of the country. And who, in their fanatically religious passion to overthrow what they believe to be outmoded and deleterious gender roles, have allowed themselves to skid off into the nether regions of scientific and philosophical quackery. As fringe and inconsequential as this whole issue has been in the past, history has shown us that a vocal, determined and zealous minority can, nevertheless, shove a wrench into the moving machinery of a nation's body politic if they are willing and able to damn the torpedoes of contrary and countervailing argument and forge, full speed ahead, into the breach. As the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so too the squeaky activist palm frequently gets the grease as well.
This whole elongated bathroom brawl has taken center stage in this country solely because of the activist and progressive media fixation on the "transgender community." It has turned a minute psychosexual aberration into a massive pseudo-scientific problem in search of a pseudo-coherent solution. As transvestic paraphilia has been around and accounted in history dating back centuries, why, one wonders, does it all of a sudden seem to be the crisis that demands immediate action if we are to have any hope of ushering in true "social justice" and rolling back the ever-encroaching neo-dark ages of the Trumpians? We are led to believe that "gender-neutral" bathrooms are an absolute necessity for a smooth functioning and orderly society in the new world order of intersectionality, and that in order to stave off complete societal collapse we desperately need to address this nearly non-issue. Why, you may ask, has this "problem" become the current progressive cause celebre. Well, as per usual, I believe the purported reason is but a faint, shadowy reflection of the real reason--which lurks behind the scenes and will only show itself once it has been safely and securely ushered into the light with contractual assurance of its complete and unquestioned acceptance. But, as this observation is pure conjecture on my part, and as it is not the focus of this article, I will leave the issues of disinformation and skulduggery to another time.
This whole elongated bathroom brawl has taken center stage in this country solely because of the activist and progressive media fixation on the "transgender community." It has turned a minute psychosexual aberration into a massive pseudo-scientific problem in search of a pseudo-coherent solution. As transvestic paraphilia has been around and accounted in history dating back centuries, why, one wonders, does it all of a sudden seem to be the crisis that demands immediate action if we are to have any hope of ushering in true "social justice" and rolling back the ever-encroaching neo-dark ages of the Trumpians? We are led to believe that "gender-neutral" bathrooms are an absolute necessity for a smooth functioning and orderly society in the new world order of intersectionality, and that in order to stave off complete societal collapse we desperately need to address this nearly non-issue. Why, you may ask, has this "problem" become the current progressive cause celebre. Well, as per usual, I believe the purported reason is but a faint, shadowy reflection of the real reason--which lurks behind the scenes and will only show itself once it has been safely and securely ushered into the light with contractual assurance of its complete and unquestioned acceptance. But, as this observation is pure conjecture on my part, and as it is not the focus of this article, I will leave the issues of disinformation and skulduggery to another time.
It is the self-evident right of everyone in a society which purports to value free speech to speak their mind on any and all pertinent issues of the day, and I, as a member of such a society, should feel free to opine on this or any other subject. But in this case, I feel that my input in this discussion might carry a bit more weight in that I, myself, have been a lifelong sufferer with what we now call gender dysphoria. This led me in 2004 to "transition" my sex. I underwent hormone supplementation, legally changed my name, and for seven years took on the appearance and lived and worked as a woman for seven years before returning to my male personae. I didn't "become" a woman; I just took on the visage and impersonated one. It was an interesting process to undertake and an experience chock full of intellectually challenging insights. It gave me a first-hand appreciation of many of the channels to be navigated in transitioning and transgenderism in toto, along with some experience in this whole bathroom kerfuffle. With that being stated, allow me to share some of my observations, consider some of the problems, and perhaps offer some possible solutions.
I remember when I was quite young I had heard about Ann Landers (a syndicated advice columnist for those of you who might not recognize the name) receiving a letter from either a trans person or a friend or family member of one, asking about which bathroom she thought a person should use who was presenting themselves as the opposite sex. I thought her response was both thoughtful and practical. She wrote that she believed someone in that position should use the rest room of the sex for which they outwardly presented themselves. She made the commonsensical observation that that course of action was probably the least likely to cause any kind of commotion or consternation. I thought--and still think--that her reasoning was sound and well considered. This answer does, however, seem to make the assumption that the person entering the restroom is--at least to a certain extent--reasonably passable as the sex of which they are presenting. This is by no means a forgone conclusion. Anyone of an honest and realistic mind knows that the real world is not "fair" in the sense that everyone gets the same abilities and attributes just because that's the way they think it should be. No, life isn't always "fair," and there are some in the transgender community that will never pass as the opposite sex no matter how much money, time and wishful thinking they throw at it. This is just an honest truth and it needs to be dealt with whether we want to or not.
That is one of the big impasses we have reached in today's world: the desire for everything to be fair and equitable when reality screams the opposite. I remember in a few of the transgender support group meetings I attended before transitioning there were more than a few men there who would never in a million years become passable as women--and that was a sad, stark reality that many of them didn't want to face. They would NEVER be able to move about in society without drawing attention--it just wouldn't happen. I'm sure it was a depressing thing for them to consider and reeked of being "unfair," but it was a reality they just couldn't wish away. I was reasonably lucky in that regard in that I was moderately passable as a woman and at least didn't draw a lot of attention if I just went about my business without any abnormal or exaggerated behavior. This was all just a luck of the draw. I worked hard at presenting myself well and it paid off enough that I was able to function in society without drawing a lot of unwanted attention.
But as this situation worked out well for me, sadly, it doesn't always work out well for everybody. For those people, entering a women's public restroom is a bad situation just waiting to happen. I can relate to a certain degree because I readily admit that whenever I was traveling, and found myself either in a restaurant or at a rest stop having to use the restroom, I was always a bit nervous in that I could never be 100% certain that no one would ever distrust my appearance and either make a scene themselves or, worse yet, call police. It was always a worry and I just had to deal with it as best i could as I really didn't have much choice as to when I would need to use the facilities. I just got in and got out as quickly and quietly as possible. Fortunately, I am relieved to report I never, personally, had any problems.
Another issue which needs addressing is realizing that a large percentage of transgenders (I'm unable to find any reliable figures) are completely heterosexual and that walking into a women's restroom carries with it a certain amount of sexual baggage. From personal experience and a fairly large amount of research on the subject I know that many men who crossdress are completely heterosexual, and would--if having undergone surgical gender reassignment--would regard themselves as "lesbians." A sizeable portion of crossdressers wholly or in part dress in women's clothes for the sexual thrill of doing so. (This was also a part of my psychosexual makeup, but not the only dynamic in play. There were also other factors which compounded to cause my sexual confusion.) So it has to be known that there are crossdressing men entering women's restrooms who are sexually stimulated in doing so. I think this in itself could be honestly proffered as a deal breaker in the debate of whether or not to open the floodgates of allowing men access to women's restrooms and locker rooms. As far as women entering men's restrooms, I would have to defer to someone who knows more about the workings of female sexuality to make an assessment of any dangers involved in that activity. I do believe, however, that men are much more likely--given their physical, psychological and hormonal makeup--to have a more volatile predilection to predation in a situation of that nature than would a woman, although this fact should not, in my opinion and at this time, be used to justify an all-encompassing prohibition on all transgenders using a public restroom.
As I stated earlier, my own experiences with the bathroom dilemma were a bit fraught, but nonetheless and thankfully, uneventful in that I was able to get in and get out of the public restrooms I used without incident. I will admit (as I alluded to earlier) that I did indeed experience a certain amount of excitement in entering a public ladies' room (as there was for me in almost every public action and interaction in the early days of my transition,) although the amount was small and massively ameliorated by the heightened awareness and anxiety which attended my use of the public facilities. Whatever possible sexual excitement I would have experienced was greatly overshadowed by a desire to just survive the trip to the ladies' room without incident. In my case it also bears noting that I've always been what I consider to be a fairly conscientious and considerate person; I would never knowingly engage in any behavior that would harm or endanger anyone. In these situations I was only doing what I needed to do on occasion in a public setting and being as discreet and considerate as was humanly possible in the endeavor.
I remember when I was quite young I had heard about Ann Landers (a syndicated advice columnist for those of you who might not recognize the name) receiving a letter from either a trans person or a friend or family member of one, asking about which bathroom she thought a person should use who was presenting themselves as the opposite sex. I thought her response was both thoughtful and practical. She wrote that she believed someone in that position should use the rest room of the sex for which they outwardly presented themselves. She made the commonsensical observation that that course of action was probably the least likely to cause any kind of commotion or consternation. I thought--and still think--that her reasoning was sound and well considered. This answer does, however, seem to make the assumption that the person entering the restroom is--at least to a certain extent--reasonably passable as the sex of which they are presenting. This is by no means a forgone conclusion. Anyone of an honest and realistic mind knows that the real world is not "fair" in the sense that everyone gets the same abilities and attributes just because that's the way they think it should be. No, life isn't always "fair," and there are some in the transgender community that will never pass as the opposite sex no matter how much money, time and wishful thinking they throw at it. This is just an honest truth and it needs to be dealt with whether we want to or not.
That is one of the big impasses we have reached in today's world: the desire for everything to be fair and equitable when reality screams the opposite. I remember in a few of the transgender support group meetings I attended before transitioning there were more than a few men there who would never in a million years become passable as women--and that was a sad, stark reality that many of them didn't want to face. They would NEVER be able to move about in society without drawing attention--it just wouldn't happen. I'm sure it was a depressing thing for them to consider and reeked of being "unfair," but it was a reality they just couldn't wish away. I was reasonably lucky in that regard in that I was moderately passable as a woman and at least didn't draw a lot of attention if I just went about my business without any abnormal or exaggerated behavior. This was all just a luck of the draw. I worked hard at presenting myself well and it paid off enough that I was able to function in society without drawing a lot of unwanted attention.
But as this situation worked out well for me, sadly, it doesn't always work out well for everybody. For those people, entering a women's public restroom is a bad situation just waiting to happen. I can relate to a certain degree because I readily admit that whenever I was traveling, and found myself either in a restaurant or at a rest stop having to use the restroom, I was always a bit nervous in that I could never be 100% certain that no one would ever distrust my appearance and either make a scene themselves or, worse yet, call police. It was always a worry and I just had to deal with it as best i could as I really didn't have much choice as to when I would need to use the facilities. I just got in and got out as quickly and quietly as possible. Fortunately, I am relieved to report I never, personally, had any problems.
Another issue which needs addressing is realizing that a large percentage of transgenders (I'm unable to find any reliable figures) are completely heterosexual and that walking into a women's restroom carries with it a certain amount of sexual baggage. From personal experience and a fairly large amount of research on the subject I know that many men who crossdress are completely heterosexual, and would--if having undergone surgical gender reassignment--would regard themselves as "lesbians." A sizeable portion of crossdressers wholly or in part dress in women's clothes for the sexual thrill of doing so. (This was also a part of my psychosexual makeup, but not the only dynamic in play. There were also other factors which compounded to cause my sexual confusion.) So it has to be known that there are crossdressing men entering women's restrooms who are sexually stimulated in doing so. I think this in itself could be honestly proffered as a deal breaker in the debate of whether or not to open the floodgates of allowing men access to women's restrooms and locker rooms. As far as women entering men's restrooms, I would have to defer to someone who knows more about the workings of female sexuality to make an assessment of any dangers involved in that activity. I do believe, however, that men are much more likely--given their physical, psychological and hormonal makeup--to have a more volatile predilection to predation in a situation of that nature than would a woman, although this fact should not, in my opinion and at this time, be used to justify an all-encompassing prohibition on all transgenders using a public restroom.
As I stated earlier, my own experiences with the bathroom dilemma were a bit fraught, but nonetheless and thankfully, uneventful in that I was able to get in and get out of the public restrooms I used without incident. I will admit (as I alluded to earlier) that I did indeed experience a certain amount of excitement in entering a public ladies' room (as there was for me in almost every public action and interaction in the early days of my transition,) although the amount was small and massively ameliorated by the heightened awareness and anxiety which attended my use of the public facilities. Whatever possible sexual excitement I would have experienced was greatly overshadowed by a desire to just survive the trip to the ladies' room without incident. In my case it also bears noting that I've always been what I consider to be a fairly conscientious and considerate person; I would never knowingly engage in any behavior that would harm or endanger anyone. In these situations I was only doing what I needed to do on occasion in a public setting and being as discreet and considerate as was humanly possible in the endeavor.
So how did we get here? How did we get to the point where the exceedingly rare occasion of a transgendered person needing to use the restroom facilities in a public area has become the huge brouhaha that it has. It's almost the same as if we had decided that the country had to come to a screeching halt every time some insensitive and selfish able-bodied jerk pulled their SUV into a handicapped parking spot. Yes, it's annoying, and most people who witness it happening I'm sure feel the urge to dump their Big Gulp on the back window of the offender's ride but, come on, nine times out of ten it's nothing more annoying than a hang nail. We have a lot more pressing things to lose sleep over in this country than a few gender dysphoric people having the same bodily functions as the rest of us.
Now just so there is no misunderstanding, let me make this point perfectly clear: On those rare occasions when a man is entering a woman's restroom or locker room for nefarious purposes, I believe they are deserving of swift and severe retribution. I have zero tolerance for any man who would use the pretext of being transgender as a means of surveilling or preying upon women or girls in a public space, and I believe they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for any infraction of that type. But I think we need to remember that of the infinitesimal number of transgendered people on the street, an even infinitely smaller number of them are sexual offenders. You have an exponentially greater chance of being robbed or knifed on the street than you do of being the victim of voyeurism or molestation in a public ladies' room.
And lest someone remark upon the recent hot house growth and metastasization of a veritable Heinz 57 of genders emerging from our high school and university dens of initiation, let me assure you that the green and lavender haired, tongue-spiked, social justice neuterites moving among us have about as much in common with the true gender dysphoric or sexual predator as Cap'n Crunch does to chateaubriand. These confused academic flotsam and jetsam are suffering the slings and arrows of an altogether different affliction--that of the progressive American "education," and are, at their worst and most insufferable, a mere societal nuisance and should not be trotted out as an example of clinical gender dysphoria run amok.
With all that being said, how do we deal with the much-hyped problem of public restroom gender etiquette? I say we should defer to the late and great Ann Landers. I think we should all just relax. I think we should channel our inner libertarian and respect others' lifestyles as we would desire respect for ours. If someone is presenting as the opposite sex to their birth sex, and they are being civil and unobtrusive, I say let them use the restroom for which they present themselves. I have found it to be the most sensible and socially fluid manner of comportment. If the person is desiring no more than to use the toilet as is necessary for all of us on occasion, then I say let them be and go on about your life. I am a very live and let live type of person, and believe that as long as you are not infringing upon my liberties then you have every right to live your life as you see fit. If you have ulterior motives and are seeking to engage in unlawful behavior, then I wish you justice...and that swiftly. Fearing those who differ from us is an historical malady. Hating those who suffer with mental disorders is not only counterproductive but injurious to those who suffer. I wish gender dysphoria didn't exist. I wish I'd never had to suffer through it. But now I realize that no help was ever done me by shunning or castigation. We all have baggage. We all have peccadilloes. Although this subject takes on a different hue when speaking of school-age children, in the matter of adults in a public setting, I believe we should harken to the age-old adage, live and let live, and remember that there but for the grace of God go I.
Now just so there is no misunderstanding, let me make this point perfectly clear: On those rare occasions when a man is entering a woman's restroom or locker room for nefarious purposes, I believe they are deserving of swift and severe retribution. I have zero tolerance for any man who would use the pretext of being transgender as a means of surveilling or preying upon women or girls in a public space, and I believe they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for any infraction of that type. But I think we need to remember that of the infinitesimal number of transgendered people on the street, an even infinitely smaller number of them are sexual offenders. You have an exponentially greater chance of being robbed or knifed on the street than you do of being the victim of voyeurism or molestation in a public ladies' room.
And lest someone remark upon the recent hot house growth and metastasization of a veritable Heinz 57 of genders emerging from our high school and university dens of initiation, let me assure you that the green and lavender haired, tongue-spiked, social justice neuterites moving among us have about as much in common with the true gender dysphoric or sexual predator as Cap'n Crunch does to chateaubriand. These confused academic flotsam and jetsam are suffering the slings and arrows of an altogether different affliction--that of the progressive American "education," and are, at their worst and most insufferable, a mere societal nuisance and should not be trotted out as an example of clinical gender dysphoria run amok.
With all that being said, how do we deal with the much-hyped problem of public restroom gender etiquette? I say we should defer to the late and great Ann Landers. I think we should all just relax. I think we should channel our inner libertarian and respect others' lifestyles as we would desire respect for ours. If someone is presenting as the opposite sex to their birth sex, and they are being civil and unobtrusive, I say let them use the restroom for which they present themselves. I have found it to be the most sensible and socially fluid manner of comportment. If the person is desiring no more than to use the toilet as is necessary for all of us on occasion, then I say let them be and go on about your life. I am a very live and let live type of person, and believe that as long as you are not infringing upon my liberties then you have every right to live your life as you see fit. If you have ulterior motives and are seeking to engage in unlawful behavior, then I wish you justice...and that swiftly. Fearing those who differ from us is an historical malady. Hating those who suffer with mental disorders is not only counterproductive but injurious to those who suffer. I wish gender dysphoria didn't exist. I wish I'd never had to suffer through it. But now I realize that no help was ever done me by shunning or castigation. We all have baggage. We all have peccadilloes. Although this subject takes on a different hue when speaking of school-age children, in the matter of adults in a public setting, I believe we should harken to the age-old adage, live and let live, and remember that there but for the grace of God go I.
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