Relax. Donald Trump is just a Speed Bump
By John Davis We Will Return to our Regular Programming Momentarily Be of good cheer, comrades. For those of you who have been pitching wildly between suicidal depression and paroxysms of rage over the results of the 2016 presidential election and the fact that our 45th President's heart is, as of this writing, still beating, do not be crestfallen. The inexorable march of history will pick up right where it left off at the end of this president's first (or perhaps second) term and--quicker than you can say Barrack Obama had no major scandals in his entire eight-year administration--we will be back on course to fulfilling all of your university-instilled fantasies whilst taking another giant leap forward towards fundamentally transforming this once-great country into the dime-a-dozen, destitute and disease-ridden third-world acreage that, for some reason, seems to send nouveau intellectual hearts into spasms of a-fibtastic rapture. ...